


If It Just Wouldn't Hurt

by Sinna



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, M/M, yj anon meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-22
Updated: 2012-10-22
Packaged: 2017-11-16 19:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/543008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinna/pseuds/Sinna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>M'gann M'orzz has always been fascinated by the human concept of love, the special bond between a man and a woman. But when she finds herself falling for a snarky, blond, and undeniably female archer, she doesn't know what to do. So she hides her feelings and tries to move on with her life.<br/>Then one night, she learns that maybe she doesn't have to.<br/>Written for the YJ anon meme</p>
            </blockquote>





	If It Just Wouldn't Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Original Prompt: One of the first things M'gann learned about earths traditions was its concept of love, which seemed to be everywhere. On the movies, on the TV, sometimes she could even feel it through someone thoughts.  
> It was the one of the first things of earths concepts she wanted to sense herself. She wanted to be the one who the handsome guy would kiss in the rain, and she wanted to cuddle with someone you should when you were in love with someone of the opposite gender.
> 
> And when she realized that she were in love with the same gender she identified as, she was confused. That never happened in the movies or in the TV shows she had seen. Which meant that those feelings couldn't be normal, so she pushed them away. No one would see them, and maybe someday she would love someone the normal way.
> 
> If it just wouldn't hurt so much.

Love.

It had enchanted her when she first watched TV shows and movies from Earth. The humans in the stories were silly and pointless and they seemed so foolish, but their concept of love astounded her. There was nothing like it on Mars. Sex was for repopulation, nothing else. There were no quiet words of endearment, no gentle touches or kisses in the rain.

When she had come to Earth, the idea of love still astounded her. She thought it might be some device imagined by the human’s form of entertainment. But then she walked through a human city with Martian Manhunter, and she felt it everywhere. A girl smiling at her generous boyfriend, a boy taking his girl’s hand, a married woman kissing her husband on the cheek, an older couple out walking. It seemed to be everywhere she looked. She never said it aloud, but she secretly hoped that she might be able to feel this magical human emotion for herself. She imagined what her boyfriend might look like. Inevitably, she decided she wanted him to be just like Megan’s boyfriend, Conner.

When she joined the team, her first thought was to ‘check out’ all the guys. Robin and Wally were cute, sure, Aqualad was exotically handsome, and Superboy was certainly not hard on the eyes, but none of them stood out to her. She hoped that getting to know them better might make her fall in love with them, but no such luck. They became her best friends, her big brothers, but she felt no romantic attachment to any of them.

She searched the computer’s databases, looking through to see if she could find any other young superheroes to fall in love with. She found Red Arrow, Green Arrow’s former sidekick, and while she thought that the phrase ‘sex on legs’ was probably an appropriate description, she felt nothing.

Maybe Martians couldn’t feel love. Maybe that was why there was no love on Mars. But…but she wanted so much to feel this magical emotion. She wanted a special boy to have and to hold for ever and ever. Why? Why couldn’t she feel this? Maybe she wasn’t trying hard enough? Maybe you had to actually work to fall in love with someone? It wasn’t that way in the TV shows, but, well, the TV shows had been wrong before. She decided she should try to fall in love with someone. Superboy seemed the closest to her Megan’s Conner, so she chose him. She tried to act the way Megan had around her Conner, flirting and being kind and gentle. He didn’t seem to notice, but she thought that maybe it was helping. She was starting to become better friends with him, and sometimes she liked to imagine she felt something more.

Then, everything came crashing down with the arrival of a snarky blonde archer named Artemis. M’gann had always thought the ‘love at first sight’ cliché was simply an exaggeration. But the second she saw Artemis, her heart started pounding and she lost the ability to breathe. Artemis was tall and blonde and _breathtakingly beautiful._ M’gann could hardly control the emotions flooding through her.

This is love.

She knew that without a doubt. The pretty flowers and moonlight kisses that she saw on TV were pleasant side effects, but this feeling, this emotion, was the heart of it all. The love she wanted so badly.

She was so caught up in her feelings that it was several moments before she realized the obvious and painful truth. Artemis was a girl, like M’gann herself. Love was supposed to be between a man and a woman, not between two girls. What was wrong with her? This couldn’t be normal. Everything she’d ever seen had taught her that love was only between members of the opposite gender. So how could she be in love with Artemis? It had to be a mistake. A lie. Just her desperate mind imagining what love must feel like. That’s all. Nothing more.

She redoubled her efforts to fall in love with Superboy, even giving him the name Conner to remind herself that he, not Artemis, was the Conner to her Megan. But she continued to feel nothing but friendship for him, even during their first kiss, which should have been so special. She tried to put Artemis out of her mind, but the archer returned in her dreams, with soft hands and softer lips and M’gann couldn’t stop wishing that she could make her dreams a reality. Why couldn’t she fall in love with Superboy? Why did Artemis have to be a girl? She tried to imagine Artemis as a man. The image was pleasing, but somehow lacking. For some reason, M’gann had fallen in love with a girl, and her very femininity was part of the attraction.

Artemis seemed blessedly oblivious to M’gann’s crush, and she intended to keep it that way. She loved every second spent by Artemis’ side. If Artemis knew the terrible feelings she felt, she would hate her. The only thing worse than this painful friendship would be if Artemis were to hate her. She tried so hard to be satisfied with Artemis’ friendship, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted more. She wanted kisses in the rain, secret smiles, valentine’s chocolates. She wanted Artemis to love her. But that was impossible.

It was even worse when Artemis and Wally started dating. As a friend, M’gann of course wanted Artemis to be happy. But her treacherous heart hated the thought of Artemis loving anyone else. She ignored her heart and listened to her mind. She pushed Artemis towards Wally, smiling all the while and never letting anyone see the pain behind the mask. If this was how she had to live, so be it. If only it didn’t hurt so much.

She hid her feelings for three years. It became easier to hide, but the pain refused to lessen. Until finally her salvation appeared.

It was late, and she was casually flipping through channels, hoping to find something interesting. She stopped for a moment when she saw something that reminded her of _Hello, Megan!_ The people were different, but there was something about the show that feels the same.

Two adults- a married couple- were standing in the kitchen, talking in harsh tones.

“-but really, a girlfriend?” the dark haired man said. “I don’t like this.”

“Things will be more difficult,” the redheaded woman replied. “But I know Sam can handle this. From what I’ve heard, they really love each other. Just try to be supportive. Please?”

“Alright.”

M’gann knew what would happen next. Sam would bring home his girlfriend, the parents would struggle to understand her oddities, but everything would work out in the end. She wished things were that simple in the real world.

The scene cut to outside the house, where two girls were standing in front of the door. Wait, what? This wasn’t the time for the kid sister and her best friend.

“Ready?” the dark haired taller girl asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” her blonde friend agreed.

She sought out the dark haired girl’s hand and held it tightly. The camera made certain to capture that moment. It didn’t make any sense. That was a romance shot. They were both girls, right?

The door opened and the parents were standing there. The woman was smiling, although the man looked uncomfortable.

“Welcome home, Samantha,” she said.

The dark haired girl took a deep breath.

“Mom, Dad, I’d like you to meet Karen,” she said. “She’s my girlfriend.”

The woman’s smile grew broader.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Karen.”

M’gann felt like she couldn’t breathe. Girlfriend. Samantha had called Karen her girlfriend. They were using romance shots for two girls. Two girls were in love. So it was possible?

“Dad?” Samantha whispered.

“It’s a pleasure, Karen,” he said curtly.

Samantha was not amused.

“Listen, Dad,” she said. “Your ‘strong Christian values’ might say that this is wrong, but I know that it’s right. I love her. I want to be with her. And if you can’t accept that, then you can’t accept me.”

“Samantha,” her father replied. “It’s not that. I really am happy for you. I’m just so afraid. There are so many people out there who will hate you for this. Are you really ready to face that?”

“I’m ready,” Samantha insisted.

“No,” Karen insisted quietly. “We’re ready.”

She and Samantha shared a determined smile.

“See, Conner, I told you they’d be alright,” the mother murmured.

M’gann’s heart caught in her throat. A black haired man named Conner, married to a redhead? It couldn’t be. Could it?

“You really are always right, Megan,” he teased gently.

 “And next week on _Good Morning, Samantha…._ ” a man’s voice announced.

But M’gann was no longer listening. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t digest this incredible information.

Was this show some sort of sequel series to _Hello, Megan!_? More importantly, did this mean that her feelings for Artemis were normal? Or at least not wrong? She remembered Samantha’s brave speech. The girl was right. How could she have been so stupid? It was love. Of course it was right. It might be different, but it was still love.

M’gann dashed to the main computer. She had to know more. Quickly, she logged onto the internet and looked up _Good Morning, Samantha_. The results blurred before her teary eyes, but a few key phrases jumped out at her.

‘…concieved as a sequel to the largely unknown 70’s sitcom _Hello, Megan!..._ ’

‘…the adventures of the daughter of Megan Wheeler and Conner…’

‘…widely controversial…’

‘…surprisingly sensitive portrayal of a young lesbian couple…’

‘…Marie Logan, who portrayed Megan in _Hello, Megan!_ , strongly supported this decision, although she turned down the chance to reprise her role as Megan for personal reasons…’

M’gann felt like a huge weight had dropped from her shoulders. Her feelings for Artemis were normal. They were okay. It might even be possible for Artemis to love her back. She felt free, for the first time since she’d fallen in love with the blonde archer.

She had to find Artemis. She had to tell her.

Except, Artemis was dating Wally. How could she break up their relationship with her selfish feelings?

But Artemis had to know. M’gann couldn’t bear to keep this to herself any longer. Even if Artemis couldn’t return her feelings, she should still know.

M’gann headed for Artemis’ room. Nervously, she knocked on the door.

“Go away!” Artemis screamed from inside.

“Artemis?” M’gann asked hesitantly.

Something was very wrong.

“Are you…crying?” she asked.

“No,” Artemis insisted.

But the sob that broke from her mouth said otherwise.

“Please, let me in,” M’gann begged. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I said, go away!” Artemis snapped.

“I won’t,” M’gann shot back. “So either let me in or I’ll stand out here until you come out.”

She was quite sure that Artemis was glaring daggers at her through the closed door.

“…Fine.”

The door slowly opened. Artemis was wiping away tears from her eyes. She looked awful.

“Well, are you going to come in, or are you just going to stand there?”

M’gann entered the room. Artemis slammed the door shut and went to sit on the bed. M’gann sat beside her, a tiny part of her admiring how beautiful Artemis looked in the dim lamplight.

“What happened?” she asked.

Artemis was silent for a moment.

“Wally broke up with me,” she admitted finally.

A tiny spark of hope ignited in M’gann’s chest, although she was careful to hide her joy.

“Why?”

Artemis shrugged.

“He didn’t really explain. He just went to visit Dick in Bludhaven, and when he came back he said we couldn’t be together anymore. I have my suspicions though.”

“What suspicions?” M’gann asked.

“Well, you know how Wally and Dick have always been really close?”

“Yeah…”

“I’m guessing that they got _really_ close.”

“I don’t understand,” M’gann told her.

“I’m saying they probably ended up sleeping together. I guess I should be glad Wally’s not stupid enough to try to keep dating me after something like that.”

“Wally and Dick?” M’gann repeated.

“You never noticed?” Artemis asked. “They’ve been flirting constantly as long as I’ve known them. I was hoping it was their way of teasing each other, but I guess I was just fooling myself.”

M’gann was unsure of how to respond to that. Now that she thought about it, Wally and Dick had always been closer than normal best friends.

“What is it with Robins and redheads?” Artemis wondered.

“What do you mean?” M’gann asked.

“Wow, you really are clueless,” Artemis observed. “Roy and Jason were together for months before, well… Why did you think he was over every weekend?”

Now that Artemis had said it, it made so much sense. That’s why Roy was always with Jason. That’s why he’d been hit so hard by Jason’s death.

“I was hoping he was reconsidering joining the team,” M’gann admitted.

Artemis laughed.

“I thought even you couldn’t be that dense. I’m glad though. I really needed a good laugh right now.”

“That’s what friends are for,” M’gann said with a smile.

She’d come here fully intending to tell Artemis of her feelings, but she knew that this wasn’t a good time. She’d wait until Artemis was over Wally.

“So, distract me,” Artemis said. “Tell me how things are going with you and Conner.”

“I’m going to break up with him,” M’gann said.

“What?! But you two have been together for ages! You’re perfect for each other! Why?! What’d he do?!”

“It’s not him,” M’gann admitted. “It’s me. I’ve been in love with… someone else…for a long time now. Since before I started dating him even. I thought… I thought my love was wrong, so I hid it and tried to convince myself that I loved him. But I saw something tonight that showed me that my love wasn’t wrong at all. The only thing wrong was how I was trying to use Conner to distract myself. He deserves better than that. So I’m going to break up with him.”

It felt good to tell Artemis the truth, even if it wasn’t the whole truth.

“Who are you in love with?” Artemis asked, leaning forward and staring directly into M’gann’s eyes.

M’gann looked away and shook her head. She couldn’t dump this on Artemis. Not when she’d just broken up with Wally.

“I’ll tell you some other time,” she said.

“M’gann, you can tell me,” Artemis insisted. “I’m not going to judge you.”

M’gann took a breath and a chance.

“The first time I saw you, I knew,” she whispered. “I thought I’d been waiting for love, but it was really much simpler than that; I’d been waiting for you. In that single moment, I fell in love with you. I tried so hard not to, but nothing I could do could take my attention away from you. I’m sorry if this is too soon after Wally broke up with you, but I can’t keep this locked away any longer.”

Artemis was silent.

“I don’t expect anything in return, but I need you to know.”

“How about we start with a date?” Artemis suggested.

“Huh?”

“I’ve always kinda liked you,” Artemis admitted. “You’re right, I’m still getting over Wally, but I want to move on. So, how about a date? Are you free tomorrow night?”

M’gann couldn’t believe her luck. A date!? With Artemis!?

“As long as no supervillains decide they need to take over the world,” M’gann joked lightly, marveling at how calm her own voice sounded. Her heart was pounding.

“Thursdays are usually slow days,” Artemis replied, only half joking. “So, it’s agreed then.”

And that was that. They stayed up talking late into the night, but not one more word was said about their planned date. Nothing had changed between them, not really. Except everything had changed. M’gann’s heart felt lighter than it had ever been before. Even in the dim lamplight of Artemis’ room, everything seemed to glow with a radiant light. Nothing was more radiant than Artemis herself. M’gann could hardly believe that this amazing, beautiful girl had agreed to date her.

* * *

 

And a month later, when Tim had become Robin and Conner didn’t know what was happening, M’gann did. She found him pouting in the kitchen and couldn’t help but smile. Had she looked so morose when she was pining over Artemis?

“You’re in love with Tim, aren’t you?” she teased gently.

“You don’t hate me for it?”

“I could never hate you,” she said. “Not for that or anything else.”

“But it’s wrong,” Conner muttered. “You should hate me for it.”

“No,” M’gann insisted. “I know exactly how you feel right now. You’re scared, you’re confused. You’re wondering what’s wrong with you. More importantly, you’re wishing it didn’t hurt so much.”

Conner stared.

“I’ve been there,” M’gann told him. “For so long, I thought love was confined to relationships between people of opposite gender. I fell in love with Artemis at first sight, but I thought it was wrong, so I tried so hard to give it up. It didn’t work. And then I learned something. Love isn’t about who you fall in love with. Race, gender, nationality, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that it’s love. And it may not be what people usually think of as love, but that doesn’t make it any less real.”

“You’re in love with Artemis?” Conner asked.

She nodded.

“Does she love you back?”

M’gann grinned and nodded again.

“We’ve been dating for almost a month. I’m sorry for not telling you, but Artemis wanted to keep it a secret. She’s worried her dad will find out and she doesn’t want me in danger. I’ve told her I can handle myself, but it makes her happy, so I go along with it.”

“So it’s okay?” Conner asked. “It’s okay that I feel this way?”

“Completely,” M’gann assured him.

“Then why do I never see anything but men falling in love with women?” Conner asked. “All those movies everyone makes me watch, out among civilians, even Superman’s married to Lois Lane.”

“Are you Superman?” M’gann scolded gently. “And the only reason you don’t see it is that you’re not looking for it. Wally broke up with Artemis because he realized he was in love with Dick. Roy and Jason were together before…you know.”

She watched Conner’s face as he processed this information.

“Do you think there’s a chance Tim might like me?” he wondered.

“Conner, he was checking out your ass when you left the room. I’m pretty sure he got pictures.”

Conner turned bright red and M’gann smiled.

Mission accomplished.


End file.
